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None of the kids ever gave Mrs. Audrey much trouble or at least not that I can remember. Maybe we were smart for kids and realized that anyone who successfully raised five boys and two girls had certainly twisted more than her fair share of ears and given a spanking or three and wouldn't hesitate in administering a bit of school bus justice. We didn't want to test her. We just sat back, let the wind blow through our hair, and listen to the music.
Ah, the music. Mrs. Audrey had an 8-track tape player that stayed on a continuous loop, playing the best of Merle Haggard, Ronnie Milsap, and Conway Twitty. We knew every word to every song. Merle, Ronnie, and Conway were like the soundtrack to our lives. Mrs. Audrey would stop at our driveway, open the door, and me, my brother, and my sister would exit the bus. As the bus pulled away, Ronnie Milsap would be singing, "It was almost like a song, but it's much too hard to write...". We could hear him crooning way down the road as we walked down the driveway to our house.
That reminds me. One time, for a reason that I can't remember, my brother and I didn't ride the bus home, but my sister did. We had nefarious plans in store for her that day. My brother and I climbed up on the roof and waited for her around the appointed time of the school bus arrival. I forget who Mrs. Audrey had playing on her 8 track, but our plans for my sister best fit a Hank Williams Jr. song, so I'm gonna say ole Hank was playing.
Jenny came walking down the driveway and never looked up on the roof. Her mistake. As she passed directly beneath us, we both spit on her head. Not nice, I know. Well, it didn't take long for her to run inside and tell on us and before you know it Mom had us off the roof. We were quickly found guilty and had to wait for the sentencing phase.
Mom told us that since we enjoyed spitting so much, we would have to stand in the bathroom and spit continuously into the commode for 30 minutes. You might laugh at this penalty, but it was brutal. At the end of 30 minutes, both my brother and I were nearly dehydrated from all the liquids we had lost. I'm sure the level of the water in the commode rose due to our spitting. You can be sure that we never spit on our sister again.
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