The Far Side of the Farm

We, like many people, talk to our animals as if they understand us.  We treat them almost like members of the family and ascribe human characteristics and tendencies to them.  Very often, Tricia and I will ask one another if the animals like us.  The answer is always, "Probably not - they just like the food that we give them."

Then we lovingly laugh at the fact that the cows just aren't that smart.  They can't figure out things like getting around a gate or how to get into or out of an enclosure, although they have somehow figured out which bedroom window is ours and on weekends when we sleep in a little later, they will bellow and bawl until we go out and milk them.  Darn cows!  If you look on a list of the relative intelligence of animals, you'll see animals like chimpanzees, pigs, bottlenose dolphins, parrots, and whales rounding out the top 5. 

It is of extreme embarrassment to the bovines on our little family farm that the cow did not even make the top 25 list of intelligent animals.  Even sheep made the list! Notice that the pig is #2 on the list and that's probably why George Orwell used the pigs as the leaders of the farm in his book, "Animal Farm."  The cows, if you'll recall, played a minor role.  In fact, the pigs learn to milk the cows and steal their milk.

Rosie - a giant compared to our other animals - just not a mental giant!

This Article discusses farm animal intelligence, admittedly rank cows pretty low on the scale, but gives them a little credit for their social characteristics in the excerpt below:

While I admire cows, I’ll admit they’re not the brightest bulbs in the ceiling. However, in their defense, cows interact with one another in socially complex ways. They develop friendships, form social hierarchies, and can hold grudges against other cows. A dairy cow in a herd of a hundred knows exactly where her place is in line at the milking parlor, and range cattle never forget where the best grazing can be found.  And if feeding time is 5 p.m., a herd of bawling cows will let you know if you’re even a few minutes late with their supper.

We have witnessed each characteristic from the above list and can vouch for the authenticity of the claims.  Each of our animals (well, maybe not the chickens) has a distinct personality and interacts with with us differently.  We're not the only people who find humor in animals and like to imagine them taking on "human" mannerisms.  Gary Larson, my favorite cartoonist of all time, did that in most every cartoon, and I laughed time after time until he retired 20 years ago in 1995.  (How can 1995 be 20 years ago!)

Here are a couple of my favorite 'cow cartoons' by Mr. Larson:

Sometimes I sneak up on our cows to see if I can catch them speaking in English or standing on two feet, but so far, no luck.  That may only prove that they are smarter than I think!