Don't Stand So Close to Me

"Don't Stand.  Don't stand so, Don't stand so close to me."  The Police (1980

It was September 1980 when the British rock group, The Police, released a hit song called, "Don't stand so close to me."  I was thinking about that song in relation to our new social distancing guidelines.  How odd is all of this?!  I am a hand-shaker.  I like to meet people and reach out and give them a firm handshake and a smile.  Now, it creates an awkward moment when greeting people, normally just opting for an elbow bump or a fist bump and then realizing that if seen doing this, we may get thrown into the gulag.

There are others right around us that may not be abiding by the six foot minimum distancing guidelines.  I caught three of them today in egregious violation, and I'm considering turning them in to the commissar for re-education and instruction.  In their defense, the bovines told me that they tested negative for COWVID-19 and are out and about only because their jobs are essential.

Mugshot: Rosie, Luna, and Clarabelle

But I'm not so sure I'm buying their story.  I mean, would you look at that!  No mask.  No gloves.  In open defiance of the 6 foot distancing edict.  Why, there's probably a pot of bat soup simmering in a back corner of the barn.