A Crime in the Garden

The tomatoes are enjoying the warm temperatures and are growing by leaps and bounds.  I’ve put up three levels of the Florida Weave trellising technique we discussed in AN EARLIER POST.  Every day I make it my business to walk up and down the rows of the various varieties of indeterminate heirloom tomatoes we have planted and scout for pests and also to pinch off the suckers that grow in the “elbows” of the tomato plant.

I saw something on a row of tomatoes that made me stop right in my tracks and scowl.  Would you take a look at this?:

The scene of the crime

Some creature absolutely clipped all of the top of the plant off, snipping the leaves off in a manner that would make a professional pruner green with envy.  It was a precision job, no doubt, and my task at hand was to locate the perpetrator and punish him to the fullest extent allowed by law.  But locating the perp was going to be difficult.  Oftentimes fugitives from the law are crafty and use means of evasion such as camouflage to hide in plain sight while they continue to inflict their destructive vandalism and theft.  A criminal's greed is often their downfall.

Evidence off the crime

I patiently began to search from the uppermost parts of the damaged tomato plant and inspected every nook and cranny as my eyes shifted lower in the canopy.  Aha!  The chase ensued and ended just as quickly as I spotted the perp.  There was no need to call for backup as the criminal was obese and very slow moving.  He was unashamed in his crime and continued eating the tomato plant as I observed him in the act - caught red-handed.  I was right when I first saw the damage as to who the perpetrator was – A Tomato Hornworm!

Mugshot of the Miscreant

Enough of this foolishness!  The long arm of the law reached out and grabbed him.  He was soft and fat and was easy to subdue, but hard to pull off the plant.  He continued to eat and his sticky legs clung to the tomato.  The perp was read his Miranda rights and brought in for questioning.  Forensic evidence of his crime was seen all over him.  He waived his rights to an attorney.  It is time to get him off the streets and to justice.

Long Arm of the Law

The tomato hornworm was given a speedy trial and as the verdict was read, the gallery sighed with relief as he was found guilty on all counts by the honorable judge presiding over the case.  The sentencing phase of the criminal proceeding began shortly thereafter and it didn’t take long at all for the judge to read out the sentence.  Due to the heinous nature of his crime and no doubt a repeat offender, he was deemed a menace to society.  Unable to be rehabilitated, the judge was left with only one means of punishment.  The death penalty!  It was to be administered quickly.

The executioner was called.  The tomato hornworm didn’t get a last meal as he was already full of tomatoes.  His last words were unintelligible.  This executioner was skilled in her job and wasted no time in carrying out the sentence.  Like a sharpened guillotine, her beak collided with the hornworm’s rotund body and onlookers in the gallery gasped in horror as gelatinous, dark-green bodily fluids oozed from the entry point of the executioner’s beak, exacting swift retribution for his criminal acts.

The Executioner

The criminal was pronounced dead at 5:52 pm and will no longer carry out his misdeeds on the unsuspecting public.  Law enforcement will continue to patrol the neighborhood as sometimes copycat crimes will occur.  Over time, peace and tranquility will again find its place on the tomato rows in the garden and the death, destruction and dismemberment will be forgotten.  We will, however, remain vigilant.