My Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman

Many years ago, Tricia and I and the kids would watch "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" on TV.  It starred Jane Seymour playing Dr. Michaela Quinn, a doctor who left Boston seeking adventure in the West and settled in Colorado Springs.  It was an entertaining family-oriented show.  The other night, my wife got the opportunity to be a medicine woman for real.

What do I mean by that?  Well, since the beginning of January, the Bayou Beekeepers Club has been having Beekeeping Classes each Tuesday night.  We meet at a local Church of Christ for an hour and a half and go through a number of presentations, slide shows, equipment demonstrations and, oh yeah, snacks (King Cake, boudin and coffee).

Tricia does apitherapy.  She uses bee venom to treat various ailments.  The president of the club asked her to bring some bees and teach part of the class.  Here's my "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" explaining how it's done.

Tricia had hand-outs and explained the science behind it and discussed the safety involved.  She keeps an epi-pen and liquid Benadryl in the event of a reaction.  It does happen and it can be fatal.  Tricia showed the process, from catching the honeybees with her little bee vacuum, to spraying them with water to calm them and keep them from flying, to grabbing them with reverse-action tweezers.

She had caught a number of bees from home and brought them with her.  She opened the floor to have anyone interested come up and be stung.  She had many takers.  First, was a club member who has arthritis in his hand.  Dr. Quinn stung him with her bees.

Next was someone who has carpal tunnel syndrome.  Tricia stung him.  There is a diagram showing where to sting for various ailments.

She grabs a bee from her box with reverse-action tweezers and places the bee on the skin.  When in place, you tap the bee's rear end and the honeybee administers a sting.  The bee pulls out and the stinger remains in your skin, pumping venom into your body.  You leave the stinger in for 10 minutes or so before removing to ensure you get a full injection of bee venom.  The bee will eventually die as they can only sting one time and the act of stinging pulls their body apart.

Finally, another beekeeper with shoulder problems wanted to be stung.  Dr. Quinn and her bees administered a dose of bee venom to the affected shoulder of the young man.

Everyone was very interested, even those who didn't line up to be stung.  Tricia is a big proponent of bee venom therapy and stings herself 10 times, every other day.  She's been after me to start on a bee sting regimen for my rotator cuff problem that six weeks of physical therapy didn't heal.  I guess I'll have to make an "appointment" with my apitherapist.  

A Bee in Your Bonnet

Embarking into the world of beekeeping has been interesting, to say the least.  We've learned so much and the organization of the bee's colony is something to behold.  I've got to be honest with you when I say that I enjoyed the hobby more last year than this year.  Why is that, you ask?  Well, we caught another swarm and we made a split, so the two hives we had last year are now four hives.  You can see them over my right shoulder in the photo below.

The population of each of the colonies has exploded.  A queen can lay up to 2,000 eggs per day.  With those hatching each day, suddenly you find yourself having to add boxes so they have room for their brood and of course fill up boxes and boxes of honey.

Last year, the bees were kind.  We could go out and lift the lids off of the boxes without a suit on, without gloves on, and observe activity.  Comb being drawn out.  Looking at eggs and larvae.  Trying to find the queen.  Seeing the difference between all the workers and the larger drones.  We'd go out and get into the hives weekly and marvel at the changes occurring.  

With the expansion of their population and more brood and more honey, things changed - in a drastic way.  Our bees that were once kind are now annoyed, cantankerous and protective.  If you get near their boxes, they buzz your head, a forceful warning that you're encroaching on their property and you'd best leave.

So the flow began this year, beginning with white Dutch clover and privet and now Chinese tallow trees.  That means honeybees are bringing back lots and lots of nectar the the hives.  Last year we had a drought, so I only mowed three times the whole year!  The bees never bothered me.  This year we've had lots of rain and the grass grows almost as fast as the rate of inflation.  I cranked up the mower, knowing full well that the bees were cranky.  "I will respect their territory and will only mow far away from them," I said.

I was a generous distance from them, mowing my merry heart away, when I saw something in my peripheral vision.  I mistook it for grass cuttings flying out of the mower.  Oh, how I wish that's what it was.  Suddenly, something began to hit me in the back of the head.  I brushed it away.  That's when the first of several stings got me on the back of the neck and on my back and in my hair, stinging me on my scalp.

To pour salt on the wound, one bee flew around and got me right on the eyelid!  That was the icing on the cake, right there.  I jumped off of the lawnmower and ran to the back door, swatting, waving my arms, looking like a fool for all the neighbors to see.  I didn't care.  The bees were in hot pursuit.  I could hear them and feel them as they continued to sting me.  I ran in the back door and some followed me indoors.  I got a flyswatter and dispatched them to honeybee heaven with the quickness.

The next morning my left eye was completely swollen shut!  That eye teared up the whole morning.  It goes without saying to say that I'm not quite as fond of our bees as I once was.  The bloom is off the rose.  From now on in the sweltering heat, I'll be mowing with my bee suit on.  We'll be pulling honey in another month.  Maybe when they don't have as much honey to protect, they'll go back to being docile, gentle, friendly bees once again.